Bollards! - S/T 1977

'Bollards', ho ho, can you see what they did there?! OK, then titles like 'Sowin' Me Oats', 'Find Us the Seamen?' and 'Scrumpy Rules O.K.' might make things more clear? Yes, this is resolutely an album by blokes for blokes, full of bawdy songs that deal with sensitive subjects like spousal abuse with that peculiarly British 70s Carry On-like mix of salaciousness and utter naivety.

Apart from the uncharacteristic reggae song One Way Love, with its moogy melody line, there isn't a lot to recommend this LP I'm afraid. Even though it's from 1977 (the year that God Save the Queen was released - imagine!), it is so redolent of a now-lost, pre-binge drink world of Party 7s and smoky working men's clubs, pale breasts and phwoaars, that any analysis is pointless really. A true relic in other words.

The Seamen?

Bollards! - S/T

Bumpkin Records BLO69

Tony Weston - I'd Do It All Again (197?)

Thanks to fellow travellers over at WFMU's Beware of the Blog (original link here), I've found a rip of what might be Tony Weston's first LP, despite the swansong-sounding title 'I'd Do It All Again'. I don't actually have a copy of the LP, so all of this post is borrowed from the efforts of others, but here is another taster of the flamboyant Bournemouth showman. RIP Tony!

MR FABULOUS

Tony Weston - I'd Do It All Again
Raven Stereo KS 1008

Side One
Everything's Coming Up Roses
When You Smile
Make The World A Little Younger
Nobody Does it Like Me
Try To Remember
My Way

Side Two
Sing, Sing a Song
The Last Red Rose In London Town
I'd Do It All Again
Streets Of London
It's You
The Greatest Performance of My Life

And, from a now-deleted Wikipedia entry:

Noel Coward: "Tony has obvious 'STAR' potential"

Liberace: "TONY, SINGS and LIVES every word, when performing 'My Way'"

Tony has been also referred to as "Mr. Vitality", "Mr. Fabulous" and "Mr. Entertainment".

Tony Weston has recorded two albums on the Raven Records label. The first album is I'd do it all again' featuring Derek Healey, Barry Robinson, Bill Jackman, Pete Warner, Brian Dee, Cedric West, Brian Short, Paul Brodie and Ian Simpson.

Jeanie Lambe - S/T (1980)

I may have spoken too soon when I noted an allmusicguide entry for the previous entrant Stu Stevens, for what do I find but another example in the shape of sultry jazz singer Jeanie Lambe. Backed by her husband Danny Moss and his quartet, Jeanie here smoulders through a selection of torch songs that may very well be standards, though are uncredited on the label.

While I haven't been able to find anything on Ms Lambe from before this 1980 LP, a modest career appeared to follow, including three further albums for what may be another private label, Zodiac, and singles for CBS and Philips. Sadly, my research also revealed that Moss died in 2008, some 19 years after he and Jeanie moved to Perth but as this obituary in the Telegraph reveals, this was not before he had received an MBE and the two of them had built a nice little reputation for themselves on the international circuit. I like to think of her still practicing her scales as she basks in the Australian sun.

I can't pretend to be a connoisseur of the genre, but I actually really like this smokily atmospheric LP, which is some distance from the cheery, beery club atmosphere of many of my other entries. Not that I would consider that particularly relevant in selecting any record for inclusion - in fact I just happened to pick this one up last Saturday in Brighton on the basis of the glam cover which I thought was a nice contrast to some of the previous entries - but let's just say I don't think this one will scare too many horses.

UNHAPPY BUT OH SO GLAD

Jeanie Lambe - S/T
Flyright Stereo FLY 215

SIDE A
SITTIN' AND A-ROCKIN'
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT LOVE IS
GLAD TO BE UNHAPPY
IWON'T DANCE
CAN'T WE BE FRIENDS

SIDE B
NO GOOD MAN
TEACH ME TONIGHT
BLUE PRELUDE
SUGAR
I WISH I WAS BACK IN MY BABY'S ARMS
ANY PLACE I HANG MY HAT

JEANIE LAMBE

WITH THE DANNY MOSS QUARTET

DANNY MOSS Tenor Sax BRIAN LEMON Piano

LEN SKEAT Bass DEREK HOGG Drums

Recorded at RON GEESIN'S STUDIO

Heathfield, Sussex

September 5, 1980

Photography: ERIC G. LOVAT

Art Direction and Design: NIGEL GOODALL

Sleeve printed and made by SENOL PRINTING

c 1980 FLYRIGHT RECORDS, Bexhill-on-Sea, East Sussex, England

Stu Stevens - Command Performance (1976)

To be honest, I'm not even sure if this record qualifies for inclusion, as Stu had (has?) considerable professional experience, and by the time of this, his third LP he had already released records on EMI, progressive label Youngblood (responsible for the highly collectable Julian's Treatment and Dando Shaft LPs) and French label Barclay. In fact, uniquely among all the artists I have come across, he even has his own, albeit skeletal, allmusic entry. So, quite what he was doing on the apparently private label Major Oak in 1976 before turning up again a few years later with another album on MCA is anybody's guess, but the cover is so spectacular that I had no choice but to include it.

The light country balladeering and (rather cheesy) synthesizer, all played by Stu himself somewhat contradict the Milk Tray machismo of the cover, and with instrumentation that includes a 'pixiphone', this man clearly has a sensitive side. Actually, I suspect I am not really doing Stu and his strong, controlled voice, much justice but for now, here is his command performance.

PLAY IT WITH FEELING

Stu Stevens - Command Performance
Major Oak Recordings STEREO MO 5

Side One
MY ELUSIVE DREAMS
BLUE EYES CRYING IN THE RAIN
*GREEN GREEN GREEN 'Written by my friend Reg'
STAY AWHILE 'I ask you!'
JOLIE GIRL
*HELP ME MAKE IT THROUGH THE NIGHT

Side Two
AMANDA
MY FRIEND 'For someone special'
SIX WHITE HORSES
LAY DOWN BESIDE ME
WOMAN WOMAN
*SUNDAY MORNING COMING DOWN 'The room is empty now but I've seen the stairs that he stumbled down to greet the day'

VOCALS, ACOUSTIC & ELECTRIC GUITARS, PIANO & SYNTHESIZER, PIXIPHONE, BASS ALL PLAYED BY STU STEVENS

DRUMS PLAYED BY JOHN EVANS EXCEPT *STU STEVENS

ARRANGED AND PRODUCED BY STU STEVENS

ENGINEERED BY TERRY BRACEY

RECORDED AT STU STEVENS SOUND STUDIOS, KIRKYBY-IN-ASHFIELD, NOTTS.

FENDER RHODES ELECTRIC PIANO COURETSY OF FARNSWORTH MUSIC, NOTTINGHAM

COVER PHOTOGRAPH BY PHILIP DAWSON

COVER DESIGN AND ARTWORK BY DAVID HOLLIDAY

Recording First Published July 1976

MAJOR OAK RECORDINGS, OCKBROOK, DERBYSHIRE

Sleeve Printed by Senol, England

Triple Echo - S/T (1980)

Haven't been able to dig up much about this entry from 1980 from Triple Echo, presumably named after Glenda Jackson's laugh-free, cross-dressing war film from 1972. Like the Bigwoods and Bros before them, the trio includes a pair of songwriting siblings - Keith Martin and his sister, Julianne Moore-lookalike Pam - which can't ever be good news for the third member and may go some way to explaining the rather skittish nature of the record. In fact, it's probably the most inconsistent I've yet come across. Alongside crooning standards that wouldn't have been out of place on some of the bigger-lapelled solo LPs from earlier in the 1970s, the usual country treatments, and slightly cringeworthy-medleys, we have the Ramones-lite of It's Up to You, and a track designed to showcase Pam's drumming chops called, umm, Drum Solo. The highlight is undoubtedly another leftfield shot, the jaunty synth-based Fruity, pretty reminiscent to these ears of The Peppers' moog anthem Pepper Box. It's a sound not unfortunately explored any further on the LP, but worth the price of entry on its own.

Here here here

Triple Echo - S/T

Ellie Jay Records Stereo EJSP 9518

Side One

I'M GOING TO BE A COUNTRY GIRL AGAIN

IT'S UP TO YOU

CAN'T HELP FALLING IN LOVE

ROCKIN (sic) ROBIN

DON'T WANNA BE A FARMER

DRUM SOLO

Side Two

FRUITY

WHEN WILL I BE LOVED

SLOWLY SLIPPING AWAY

MEDLEY - El Cumbanchero, William Tell, Hava Nagila

ONE DAY AT A TIME

MEDLEY - Move It, I Saw Her Standing There, Route 66

This is our first album, it is a selection of some of our most requested songs, as well as introducing a few of our own compositions.

Our thanks go to all those who have helped and supported usm and you for buying the record.

Hope you enjoy it...

Pam: Vocals, drums and keyboards.

Keith: Vocals, guitars, keyboards and mouth organ.

Alan: Vocals, bass guitar and percussion.

Special thanks to Rusty for his help and performance on the spoons and washboard.

Thanks also to Steve Hall and Linda Biron at Hallmark Studios for a great job on production and photography.

An Ellie Jay Custom Product

Published 1980

The Bigwoods - Paradise Beach (1971)

As I mentioned in the previous post, accordionist extraordinaire Bobby Bigwood had 'form'. Joined by his sister (Barbarella, left, drums) and mate (Sonny Bono, right, guitar and vocals), the trio cut their teeth entertaining punters of the nascent Caribbean cruise trade in the early 70s. Sailing between the islands they would play fairly unreconstructed versions of popular Caribbean songs alongside a few originals, complete in some cases with now somewhat un-PC cod accents. There's not really a great deal else to say about the simple pleasures of this music, except to point out the rather compressed sound which is definitely not an artefact of my rip.

I wonder if the album was actually paid for by Cunard, judging by somewhat crude product placement in the sleeve notes? Regardless, I like the unusually florid and mildly psychedelic cover, which looks like the sort of thing that a Japanese soft pop collector would auction grandma for. Also interesting from a record collector's perspective is the fact that the record is housed in a US-style pasted sleeve - these are notorious for the fragility of their seams and susceptibility to ring wear. UK examples are pretty uncommon in my experience, sufficiently so in fact for me to wonder if this was indeed a domestic pressing. The firm which used this idiosyncratic technology is not credited on the sleeve - again unusually - but the cover reveals the label to have been based in Margate (a nice contrast to the tropical beach pictured above its address). Plus the record is definitely made in England, panic over.

I also wanted to draw attention to a small detail of the rear cover. Initially I wasn't 100% sure that this was the same Bobby Bigwood I've already mentioned. But look at the band photo above, there he is in exactly the same pose, with exactly the same instrument (in exactly the same clothes for all I know) as his Mainly Country album, but 9 years earlier. His signature, on the inner sleeve, is the same too, and he's already wishing us luck! Two moments, nine years apart, the continuity is somewhat reassuring.


COBBLERS COVE
The Bigwoods - Paradise Beach
Chance Records/Phase II Records BAR 102 1971

Side 1
1. MEDLEY (Matilda, Nobody's Business, Mary Anne)
2. ISLAND GIRL
3. SHAME AND SCANDAL
4. YELLOW BIRD
5. MONTEGO BAY
6. BEAUTIFUL BARBADOS

Side 2
1. PARADISE BEACH
2. BALEMENA
3. BARBADOS RUM
4. ISLAND IN THE SUN
5. CRUISING CALYPSO
6. THE SLOOP JOHN B.
Travelling on baord "The Greatest Ship in the World" is an enormous pleasure; but when that ship cruises the Caribbean Sea...this is surely many people's idea of Paradise.

When asked which is their favourite island in the Caribbean, the Bigwoods answer "The one that floats: Queen Elizabeth 2." The group has performed aboard this floating island for the past two winters and fell in love with the carefree, lilting music of the Caribbean. Their very favourite spot is a beautiful beach and the hotel in Barbados. The beach pictured here, and the Paradise Beach Hotel inspired the title song on this album.

Each song in the collection has been chosen to capture the true atmosphere of these beautiful islands, as a lasting reminder of carefree days amongst the gently swaying palms, magnificent beaches and warm blue seas at the Paradise Beach Hotel and Cobblers Cove Hotel in Barbados, La Toc Village and Hotel La Toc in St. Lucia and the Montego Beach Hotel in Jamaica...all fine Cunard-Trafalgar Resorts.

The music of the Caribbean...songs from an Island Paradise: the sounds of THE BIGWOODS.
(P) 1971

CHANCE RECORDS
34 Roman Road, Broadstone, Dorset
14 Giles Garden, Margate, Kent

Bobby Bigwood - Mainly Country (1980)

A comparatively late entry here, my completely non-scientific observation is that this would be from the very tail end of the cabaret act self-released vinyl story. Sure, plenty of bespoke albums were to follow but much as with library music there was a shift around this time toward something a bit less innocent, presumably due to the increasing affordability of new technology and the fetishisation of 'digital'.

Bobby Bigwood had been treading the boards for at least 10 years when he put this record out, initially as a group with his siblings (see next post) but latterly as a solo performer, facts which the sleeve notes seem keen to disguise in their attempt to promote his novelty. Early recordings reflected a background in cruise ship entertainment, as this slightly random article from the Dorset Daily Echo affirms. He's still out there as well it seems, playing his accordion and leaving a smear of happily entertained punters across the web.

Bobby's weapon of choice here (and which had been since the early 70s) is a Cordovox, basically a souped up electronic accordion that like many new instruments of the time was laughably claimed to be capable of imitating any instrument. It had been showcased on a contemporary budget album by Mike Timoney, The Astounding Sound of the Cordovox so maybe there was even a Cordovox 'scene' that saw Bobby lose that particular gig. The truth of course was somewhat different; like moogs - for which a similar claim was made despite every patch sounding like the same jolly farting noise - the Cordovox is incapable of anything of the sort being basically just a Hammond Organ with a strap, but Bobby doesnt seem to mind.

Although the title of the album, Mainly Country, is somewhat timidly hidden in a small font on the rear of the sleeve, and doesn't appear on the spine at all, it probably tells you all you need to know about the music. As with many who pursued the self-release route, country standards are numerous and the gentle treatment of classics such as Country Roads and the Bellamy Brothers' If I said You Had a Beautiful Body bring to mind Shakin' Stevens' highly successful chart bothering a year or two later, should that be your thing.

Accompanying throughout is a thin primitive drum machine, which in my ignorance I won't even attempt to identify. But wouldn't you know it, the album, by using the same instrumentation as Young Marble Giants' seminal Colossal Youth, echoes the latter's icy atmospherics in a few instrumental moments. Listen to the beginning of Spanish Eyes and tell me it doesn't sound a teeny bit like the the intro to Wurlitzer Jukebox! And as a fan of American Analog Set, The Last Farewell could well be a demo of a song from their second album, were the track instrumental.

Of course I can't finish without mentioning the cover. Regardless of Bobby's considerable merits as an entertainer the shot chosen for the cover of this album could hardly be called flattering. And I'm struck by the dedication which reads: "Lots of luck"? Maybe in the year after the winter of discontent and Thatcher's election, and with riots, record unemployment and St Winifred's School Choir around the corner, hope and love were in short supply.

ALMOST ANY SOUND

Bobby Bigwood - Mainly Country
Phase II Records BAR 106 1980

SIDE 1
1. Country Roads
2. The Last Farewell
3. Blanket on the Ground
4. Amazing Grace
5. Streets of Baltimore
6. My Best Friend

SIDE 2
1. Crystal Chandeliers
2. Spanish Eyes
3. Y'All Come Back Saloon
4. Sometimes When We Touch
5. If I Said You Had a Beautiful Body
6. Help Me Make It through the Night

Studied under the College of Accordionists and after passing many of the exams with honours went on to win the under 16 National Accordion Championship. It is with this classical background that Bobby has commenced his professional career.

He is also an accomplished singer and now plays the remarkable "CORDOVOX", a completely new kind of instrument capable of reproducing almost any sound.

His personal appearances include the maiden West Indies cruise on board luxury liner QE II and a season at the famous Showboat restaurant Niagra (sic) Falls. He has played in Spain, Germany, Italy and Greece.

This album was produced with a country flavour, by popular request and it is hoped that it will provide long and lasting pleasure to all those who own a copy, of the collective sounds of BOBBY BIGWOOD.

Arranged by Bobby Bigwood
Guitar work by Laurie Delahaye
(P) 1980
Phase II Records

Printed by West Brothers Ltd., London, S.W. 19

Johnny Carroll - Do You Want to Touch Me (197?)

A pretty rhetorical question from the Brummie stud I'm afraid, these were innocent times. According to the sleeve notes of this LP, Johnny Carroll (not to be confused with the US rockabilly singer of the same name), seems to have reached the peak of his fame in 1970 by winning the UK talent show New Faces, a programme which began in 1973 I understand. But I'm not here to judge, here is a big, hearty celebration of everything that I love about these records, ie, the mannered voice that would probably be labelled karaoke these days, lashings of showbiz cheese, and a dash of benign self-delusion. But Johnny can throw some mean shapes on his guitar it seems, presenting a slight oddity in the form of a number of instrumental tracks (whose lack of vocals I mistook for artistic humility at first, imagine!). This is best showcased in his cover of Telstar, which is actually quite fun, but by sounding like the Shadows does rather yank Joe Meek's astral visions back down to earth. I blame the producer.

I also wanted to mention what I think is the album's highlight, Johnny's cover of Buddy Holly's Oh Boy. It's not exactly a reimagining, but I like the loping, almost glam-rock treatment which suggests a confidence that would have been promising under different circumstances. Incidentally, the keen eyed might have spotted that Johnny's LP gave rise to this blog's name, courtesy of its typically student CV-like sleeve notes. For that alone, I have to elevate this album to exemplary status. And to think, my copy isn't even signed...

Oh and sorry for the quality of the cover pic. I've replaced it once but am still getting to grips with how best to do this. Apart from anything I want to be able to show lots of details including, in this case, a grab of the back cover if only to show his spectacular backing band of walruses and the curious John Inman-style personality pose Johnny has chosen to strike:

POPULAR MIDLANDS ENTERTAINER

Johnny Carroll - Do You Want to Touch Me
Raven Records KS 1014

SIDE ONE
Hello Young Lovers
All in the Game
Walk Don't Run
The Wonder of You
Summer Place
If
That'll Be the Day
Rave On

SIDE TWO
Pretty Woman
Telstar
Unchained Melody
Apache
O' (sic) Boy
Are You Lonesome Tonight

The popular Midlands entertainer JOHNNY CARROLL was born in Brimingham less than a mile from the City centre. JOHNNY lost his father when he was nine years old. His mother, of whom JOHNNY is very proud, was left to act as mother and father to Johnny and his elder sister, JOHNNY left school when he was fifteen and entered the electrical contracting industry as an apprentice electrician. This was soon to change as JOHNNY was asked to join the Birmingham based pop group called the DAKOTAS as lead guitarist and vocalist, but after an uneventful start, JOHNNY changed his style and joined a group called the OLYMPICS who experienced huge success with Midlands audiences after changing their name to the VOGUES. In 1969, JOHNNY was a very popular act with audiences throughout the country and in 1970 was asked to appear on Opportunity Knocks and was voted second by the viewing public, success followed. In October 1970, JOHNNY appeared and won the popular T.V. series NEW FACES and has been voted the most popular comedian by the top clubs and audiences of the Midlands. Since winning the New Faces, JOHNNY has topped the bill at the NEW CRESTA CLUB, Birmingham, HELMAEN INTERNATIONAL CLUB USK, South Wales and has appeared at the BIRMINGHAM HIPPODROME for a command performance with TONY HATCH, LARRY GRAYSON and NOEL GORDAN, TITO'S NIGHT CLUB, North Wales, WINSTON'S Bournemouth, and the YEW TREE COUNTRY CLUB, Bristol. JOHNNY has received great acclaim from the press and when asked to what did he owe his great success he said without hesitation "The fantastic Midland audiences and the Clubs throughout the Midlands - and don't I love them for it."

JOHNNY CARROLL would like to say many thanks to TONY CHAFFE for making this album possible.

Lead Guitar: JOHNNY CARROLL
Keyboards: Mal Ford
Base (sic) Guitar: John Summers
Drums: Les Hobbs
Vocal Backing: Lynne Stanley

Recording Engineer: Ron Eve Gooseberry Studios
Cutting Engineer: John Dent, Trident Studios
Sleeve Design and Art Direction: Ross, Kent Studio
Photography: Kent Studio
Produced by Malcolm Ransom, Raven Records

Janice Hoyte - I'm a Winner (1974)

A moment of relative professionalism and a rare entry from a female artist (as will become clearer as my posts grow). The masculine need to plant a flag and spray might account for the preponderance of mulleted men in spandex or dogtooth in the little demi monde covered by this blog, but it's still a shame that fewer women felt compelled to subsidise themselves onto to a piece of 12" PVC in the supposedly progressive 70s. Strictly speaking, this entry from Janice doesn't really count as a piece of vanity vinyl since it was released on her behalf by the presumably short-lived 'Marks & Spencer Social Society'. But if I'm going to include Frank Ifield's indie label attempts (see later posts), I see no reason not include this too.

I don't want to be patronising enough to suggest that Janice's contribution is inherently valuable by virtue of her being a woman - or indeed black, something also unusual in this little museum - since neither was exactly within her control, but this really is a nice little album, evidenced particularly by the less obvious tracks. Take a listen to the moog-kissed pop gospel of the title track, and the lightly euphoric space-age hippy anthem Space Captain. Despite an unshowy vocal performance throughout, I get the feeling that Janice could really let rip should she want to but in this dreary X-factor age I rather appreciate her slightly tentative vocals.

Incidentally, my initial research suggests La Hoyte may have gone on to bigger and better things, sustaining her career in music long after she left the M&S backroom and even, gasp, touring with Boney M. But I need to check this and will update. The only other thing I wanted to mention was the presence on this record of David Hentschel, responsible for the fabulously atmospheric ARP sounds on Elton John's Goodbye Yellow Brick Road.

Oh but I can't let my little review of this album conclude without mentioning the somewhat unfortunate reason I bought it at all from the £1 bin at the front of a shop in Palmers Green. As the philanthropic M&S states on the cover: "All proceeds from the sale of this record will be donated to B.A.R. (The British Association for the Retarded)"....

MISS SPARKS 73/74

Janice Hoyte - I'm a Winner

Marks & Spencer Social Society, No catalogue number

SIDE ONE

1. I'm a Winner

2. Where You Lead

3. Brown Eyed Handsome Man

4. Space Captain

5. Mad About the Boy

6. Stony End

SIDE TWO

1. Flim Flam Man

2. Killing Me Softly

3. No Easy Way Down

4. Yesterday

5. Time and Love

Janice is a member of the Head Office staff of Marks & Spencer and as a very talented member of the comapny's Social Society has made a great impact on her colleagues by her excellent performances at the "Social Society's Annual at Home" productions.

What better opportunity for us all to hear the numbers she has so successfully featured at the last three shows, than this record, and at the same time to enable the "British Association for the Retarded" our Miss Sparks 73/74 adopted charity to benefit by the sales of this record.

The Social Society of Marks & Spencer are indebted to Bob Hill and his engineers at Trident Studios for their help and guidance in the production of this record and to producer David Hentschel for additional arrangements and playing the synthesizer.

Record Cover by

Brian Songhurst (M & S Studio)

Production by

Charles C Cassell (M & S Studio)

Backing Chorus

Glynis Jones (M & S Head Office)

Glynis Bell (M & S Head Office)

Julie Stubbs (M & S Head Office)

Marilyn Bright (M & S Head Office)

Valerie Mace (M & S Head Office)

Janet Simons (Kilburn Store)

Tony Weston - S/T (1974)

This is an interesting one. On first glance there is not much that distinguishes Tony Weston's freshman stab at vinyl fame from the multitude of other wannabees. Bargain basement design? Check. Letraset fonts? Check. 'Private' label? Check. Ridiculously posed cover shot? Check. Autographed sleeve? Check ("To Lisa, Love ya")". Admittedly, the sleevenotes are unusually copious and serious, but still attest to the typically tertiary levels of fame, inflated by the simmering desperation of a manager who can smell the next recession. Check.

But my nobler half took it upon himself to do a little research the day I found this LP and it seems that there is a grain of truth in the hyperbole. Poor Tony Weston departed for the ballroom in the sky in 2005, but not before a carefully rehearsed send-off. According to the Bournemouth Daily Echo, "shoppers in Westbourne stopped in their tracks as the flamboyant funeral procession for '60s singing star Tony Weston passed by". It seems time has been a little unkind to his legacy if the paper's assertion that Weston "...was a big name on the international cabaret circuit in the 1960s and, at the height of his fame, had a fan club with 10,000 members" is true. But let's concentrate on this LP, his first testament.

What little else I have been able to find about the man suggests that he was in the old-school mould of ribald humour, loud songs and even louder clothes and there is nothing before me that would contradict that (may I mention Pontins at this point?). But the record really isn't that bad. Of course, his voice is way too high in the mix as befits someone used to standing alone at the front of the stage, but he has a good stab at Spinning Wheel, which is difficult to mess up admittedly, and introduced me - with his pleasing rendition - to Petula's Clark's I Know a Place (...in fact I did sort of know the song I now realise due to Julian Cope ripping it off for his 'augmented' cover of the Vogues' 5 O'Clock World). As an aside, the backing band on this is credited as the "New Dawn", coincidentally the same as an Oregon band responsible for a fantastic £500+ LP from 1970 'There's a New Dawn', also privately pressed. Ridiculous to think these things would be related, but weirder things have happened...

Like most of the albums on this blog, this one doesn't have a date on the sleeve or labels, but I'm assuming this is the "new album" referred to in the aforementioned sleeve notes, reproduced below in all their small town glory, so 1974 it is.

HAIR BY RAYMOND

[PS sorry for the skip in track 5, clearly Lisa didn't love this record as much as Tony loved her...]

Tony Weston - s/t (1974)
Steenhuis Recording Studios STEREO SPC 344

Side One
1. For Once in my Life
2. Your (sic) My World
3. Love Is All
4. Cabaret Medley
5. And I Love You So

Side Two
1. Spinning Wheel
2. Steets (sic) of London
3. Love Story
4. I Know a Place
5. My Life

International star singer and dancer TONY WESTON has already packed a lifetime of show business into his career. His dynamic act has brought him terrific success that prompted a leading London manager to sign up this fast rising star for a tour of the world's entertainment capitals. During the next twelve months, TONY sang in some of the world's top night clubs including Calcutta, Hong Kong, Tokyo, Sydney, Wellington, the list is endless. At the exclusive Goodwood Hotel in Singapore, TONY won the admiration of Noel Coward, who assured him that he could make a great name for himself in Australia.

It was soon after this that TONY starred in the musical revue 'Starlight Roof' and with a cast of sixty travelled all over Australia and New Zealand. The Melbourne Press said of TONY, "The most explosive, dynamic, all round entertainer to come out of England". The Adelaide Pres said of him, "Just watching him work made one feel exhausted...he had so much energy". TONY's next success was the leading role in the musical "The Roaring 20's", but he still found time to appear on television in Sydney. Eventually, TONY decided to return to England, after travelling 90,000 miles and through some sixty countries, he felt it was time to see his family again. On his return to England, he broke all records appearing several times at Barbarellas Club in Norwich and the same at Winstons in Bournemouth and the same story at the Maison Royale Club in Bournemouth.

THE LONDON EVENING NEWS By James Green
The first time I saw him was in Majorca, the temperature was around 90 degrees, and he gave a one man cabaret act that lasted for seventy-five minutes, he didn't so much get a reception as an ovation, they stood on chairs to cheer, the name is TONY WESTON, and as I told him then nobody, not even Sammy Davis, could have done it better. I picked the right man because the coloured American is WESTON's idol.

Now things arre happening for this Cornish born entertainer who is billed, not without reason as Mr. Dynamic. He sings, dances, shakes, twists, turns cartwheels and sometimes sings on the floor kicking his feet in the air.

TONY WESTON with his blond hair and lace shirts is a remarkable show business character. He has 92 shirts and 35 suits and does not dress to be lost in a crowd, he has done cabaret in Japan, Hong Kong and India, just to mention a few of the many places he has appeared.

THE NORWICH EVENING NEWS
With songs like "This is my Life", "My Way" and "Love is All" echoing round the packed MELODY ROOMS on Thursday, who else could have been the singer but TONY WESTON, back amongst his Norwich fans after a lengthy absence. Yes it was the same TONY WESTON flamboyant and irrepressible as ever, and there were the same encores at the end of his exhausting performance, except the encores were more demanding. If TONY ever doubts the lasting devotion of his many fans in Norwich he will need to see a psychiatrist for even after this long break, he had only to swing onto one of his memorable numbers to draw loud applause...For him and him alone, it seems Norwich audiences reserve the mass turn out and spontaneous appreciation normally earned only by a few top stars, the belly laughs followed on as well as ever, from his wise cracks and stories, the women in the audience responded just as well to his wild gyrations finally, after tremendous applause TONY WESTON stepped out of the spotlights.

THE STAGE By David Lester
Five appearances at the same club in the space of fifteen months, must be a record, the artist in question TONY WESTON, the club Winstons in Bournemouth. I attended TONY's opening night which was nothing short of a sensation, with superb backing from "The New Dawn". TONY was able to tackle his audience without any worries and he entertained for over one hour, giving the performance of a lifetime...WESTON must be one of the few entertainers left who really understands what showmanship is all about. 1974 is going to be a very busy year for him. He is in the throes of making a new album. He has a top of the bill spot lined up at the Variety Club Show in Torquay, engagements at home and abroad, until the start of the summer season when Holiday Camp King FRED PONTIN has re-engaged him to entertain his guests all over the country.

Hair styling: Raymond of Bournemouth
Tony Weston's cloths (sic): Anthony Goble
Photography: Malcom Ransom
Sleeve Design: Kent Studio, Canterbury, Kent
Musical Arrangement: Ian Simpson
Backing Group: New Dawn
Recording Engineers: Paul Steenhuis & Clive Taylor
Steenhuis Recording Studios, Broadstairs, Kent

Sweet Illusion - S/T (197?)

An appropriate starting point for this blog, this band's name pretty much sums up why I'm writing this right now. I'd been picking up similar records every now and then for some time, when this little gem appeared to me at a car boot sale in Battersea. Its exemplary blend of innocence and strained humour, with the faint tang of thwarted ambition, was just the catalyst I needed.

With my copy's untarnished and - unusually swish for this genre - fully laminated cover, this LP would appear to fail one of the blog's primary criteria, the band's autograph and dedication, but hold on, what's happening on that label. Ray, Paul, Clive, Allan and Terry wish us well with varying degrees of legibility.

The band's nominative determinism may not be all that it seems though. Sweet Illusion bucked the trend many of their peers had collectively set by actually making it to a second album, Radio Time, and a third, Two Sides, which I'll get to in a later post. Such levels of aspiration and achievement almost preclude the band for inclusion, but it is heartening to see that this anomalous near-career wasn't sullied by anything approaching musical development. Four years on, and the Saturday night, cruise ship party vibe is intact.

So ladies and gentlemen, I give you Sweet Illusion, direct from the Marden Village Hall.

BOOS AND JEERS

Sweet Illusion - S/T
Sir Records STEREO LP 111/ DTS 007

SIDE 1
1. Beautiful Sunday Medley
2. Breaking Up Is Hard to Do
3. If
4. A House Is Not a Home
5. Top of the World
6. Shang a Lang

SIDE 2
1. Mamas & Papas Medley
2. Stoned in Love With You
3. Ticket to Ride
4. I Believe
5. Y Viva Espana
6. Whole Lotta Shaking

Firstly thanks for buying this album...we hope that you enjoy it and that you will tell your friends about it...if you don't enjoy it we hope you have no friends to tell.

The album was recorded over two days at the Elizabethan Barn, Tunbridge Wells, and all the boos and jeers were carefully removed at D.T. Studios in Maidstone afterwards. The 12 tracks selected are some of the numbers we are most requested to play and the ones our mums like hearing most of all.

We have enjoyed playing to audiences from Claridges in Mayfair to the Marden Village Hall. We get a lot of laughs from entertaining you and ourselves and we hope that you will get a lot of enjoyment out of this record, that you will still keep coming to see us and most of all will help and encourage us as so many of you have done for so long.

Ray Charsley - lead guitar, vocals, handclapping and bum notes
Paul Washington - rhythm guitar, vocals, tambourine, silly voices and no money
Clive Sayer - bass guitar, vocals, bird noises and large appetite (fatty)
Allan Jiggens - drums. vocals, rude noises and v.c
Terry Brown - piano, electric piano, vocals, duck call and smelly feet

RECORDING ENGINEER Dave (let's have a swift half) Tewes D.T.S. Maidstone, Kent
PRODUCED BY Sweet Illusion (our thanks to Pinky and Perky for inspiration)